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Bac/ideas of progress
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Message de seyk30 posté le 06-05-2016 à 14:00:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je suis en Terminale et j'aurai aimé que vous m'aidiez corrigr mes ventuelles fautes sur une fiche pour l'oral de mon anglais.
Merci de votre aide et de votre compréhension !
Plan idea of progress :
Introduction : The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a changement. Those changement can be in the technology, social improvemment can happened or cultural progress. We can ask the question, how the technological progress can have an impact on the culture or on the social aspect of India ?
To answers at this question, first i'm gonna talk about the technological evolution in India with the prime minester of India Mr.Modi, next how the technological progress is antagonist with the culture of this country, always with Mr.Modi, then for explain the social progress, we will talk about the microcredit in India who are accompaigned with the liberation of women.
I)
1) In India, the technological progress is really important this last years, in 2014 the prime minister was Mr.Modi, and in the document we saw, a journalist made a description and a judgement of him. As we can saw, Mr.Modi want to improve the technology of India by making « satellite », new cities completely futurist with big and high building.
2) But here, the technological progress still stand next to the culture of India, and as we can see, Mr.Modi want to do a big step in the technological progress but his cultural ideas where old and his belief where innapropriate with his time and with his technological project. For example he thinks that in the time of the birth of his Gods, it means a long time ago, they already have the plastic surgery. We saw here and by the judgement of the journalist that the idea of Mr.Modi for the progress of his country where good but they stand against the cultural atmosphere of this country,
I think the culture and the technological progress can't be join because the culture is based on old belief, and the technological progress need new idea, need people who look for future and not people who look in the past.
II)
1) It's right on this document that the microcredit in India was created and based on the idea of Muhammed Yunus who developped those during the 30 last years. The microcredit is like the credit that we all know, but for less money, . In principle, even the world's poorest people can acquire savings and investment if they have access to capital. So those loan are here for improve the living conditions, they permitted to make the little dressmaker to appoint one two or three people and make a real businness. The microcredit are made to transofrm the circle of low investissement → low income in the circle of big investissement → big income. But those loan can and have create problem. When a personn won 2 Roupies a day and take a loan of 1000 Roupies, you always have going to have a problem for the repayment and people who are rapidly in debt. And it is like this that people who didn't have entrepenarial idea take loan just in order to buy the food for their childs and this can make the exact contrary of what the microcredit are made for, those action make fall the inda in debt
2) Here it is, the liberation of the women, this is a big social progress that the India made, by the microcredit. It providing powers and act them to become independent society builders with potential challenges to the future generation. We cannot skip the women contribution to the socio-eco- nomic development of the nation. Empower the women in social, political, economical and legal aspects became necessary to convert the ideal society into self-sustainable society.In a Muslim country with strong patriarchal traditions, empowering women had social-change implications far beyond immediate entrepreneurship.In India, there is a male dominated society and the women always depend on the male and their participation in different economic activities is very low as compared to male. But now this time to change the mentality and to support the women empowerment. In India, women empowerment is one of very important issue and the microfinance helps to women empowerment by permitted them to be independent and to do what their wishes . In today’s scenario more women are engaged in income generating activities and this involved the women's in a lot of thinks, they can have acces to more thinks like the education, the health treatment, the microfinance make the women more responsible for their country.
They liberate the women of their husband and developped a sort of equality in the country between men and women. The microcredit help the India to do a big step in his development even if it's accompaigned with debt.
Pour la conclusion je n'ai pas de problème ! Merci encore de votre aide
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-05-2016 14:05
Message de seyk30 posté le 06-05-2016 à 14:00:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je suis en Terminale et j'aurai aimé que vous m'aidiez corrigr mes ventuelles fautes sur une fiche pour l'oral de mon anglais.
Merci de votre aide et de votre compréhension !
Plan idea of progress :
Introduction : The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a changement. Those changement can be in the technology, social improvemment can happened or cultural progress. We can ask the question, how the technological progress can have an impact on the culture or on the social aspect of India ?
To answers at this question, first i'm gonna talk about the technological evolution in India with the prime minester of India Mr.Modi, next how the technological progress is antagonist with the culture of this country, always with Mr.Modi, then for explain the social progress, we will talk about the microcredit in India who are accompaigned with the liberation of women.
I)
1) In India, the technological progress is really important this last years, in 2014 the prime minister was Mr.Modi, and in the document we saw, a journalist made a description and a judgement of him. As we can saw, Mr.Modi want to improve the technology of India by making « satellite », new cities completely futurist with big and high building.
2) But here, the technological progress still stand next to the culture of India, and as we can see, Mr.Modi want to do a big step in the technological progress but his cultural ideas where old and his belief where innapropriate with his time and with his technological project. For example he thinks that in the time of the birth of his Gods, it means a long time ago, they already have the plastic surgery. We saw here and by the judgement of the journalist that the idea of Mr.Modi for the progress of his country where good but they stand against the cultural atmosphere of this country,
I think the culture and the technological progress can't be join because the culture is based on old belief, and the technological progress need new idea, need people who look for future and not people who look in the past.
II)
1) It's right on this document that the microcredit in India was created and based on the idea of Muhammed Yunus who developped those during the 30 last years. The microcredit is like the credit that we all know, but for less money, . In principle, even the world's poorest people can acquire savings and investment if they have access to capital. So those loan are here for improve the living conditions, they permitted to make the little dressmaker to appoint one two or three people and make a real businness. The microcredit are made to transofrm the circle of low investissement → low income in the circle of big investissement → big income. But those loan can and have create problem. When a personn won 2 Roupies a day and take a loan of 1000 Roupies, you always have going to have a problem for the repayment and people who are rapidly in debt. And it is like this that people who didn't have entrepenarial idea take loan just in order to buy the food for their childs and this can make the exact contrary of what the microcredit are made for, those action make fall the inda in debt
2) Here it is, the liberation of the women, this is a big social progress that the India made, by the microcredit. It providing powers and act them to become independent society builders with potential challenges to the future generation. We cannot skip the women contribution to the socio-eco- nomic development of the nation. Empower the women in social, political, economical and legal aspects became necessary to convert the ideal society into self-sustainable society.In a Muslim country with strong patriarchal traditions, empowering women had social-change implications far beyond immediate entrepreneurship.In India, there is a male dominated society and the women always depend on the male and their participation in different economic activities is very low as compared to male. But now this time to change the mentality and to support the women empowerment. In India, women empowerment is one of very important issue and the microfinance helps to women empowerment by permitted them to be independent and to do what their wishes . In today’s scenario more women are engaged in income generating activities and this involved the women's in a lot of thinks, they can have acces to more thinks like the education, the health treatment, the microfinance make the women more responsible for their country.
They liberate the women of their husband and developped a sort of equality in the country between men and women. The microcredit help the India to do a big step in his development even if it's accompaigned with debt.
Pour la conclusion je n'ai pas de problème ! Merci encore de votre aide
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-05-2016 14:05
Réponse: Bac/ideas of progress de laure95, postée le 10-05-2016 à 12:02:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- a changement: mot français.
- Those changement( idem + pluriel ) can be in the (pas de THE)technology, social improvemment can happened ( CAN + INFINITIF)
-or cultural progress. We can ask the question, how the technological progress can have an impact on the culture or on the social aspect of India ? (enlever point d'interrogation: question indirecte)
- To answers (TO + INFINITIF)at (pas de AT)this question,
- with the (enlever THE)prime minester (orthographe)of India Mr.Modi,
- then for (TO)explain the social progress, we will talk about the microcredit (pluriel in India who are accompaigned (orthographe)
I)
- 1) In India, the technological progress is (présent perfect)really important this (this + singulier)last years,
- e saw, a journalist (pronom relatif)made a description and a judgement of him.
-As we can saw: CAN + INFINITIF.
-, Mr.Modi want (faute de conjugaison)to improve the technology of India by making « satellite »,
-new cities completely futurist with big and high building (pluriel).
2)Mr.Modi want (faute de conjugaison)to do a big step in the technological progress but his cultural ideas where -orthographe)old
- the idea of Mr.Modi for the progress of his country where (idem)good
- I think the culture and the technological progress can't be join (participe passé)
II)
1) the 30 last years: ordre des mots.
- So those loan (pluriel) are here for (to)improve the living conditions,
-But those loan
- can and have create (participe passé)problem (pluriel). When a personn (orthographe) won (pas le bon verbe ici)2 Roupies a day
- you always have going to: mal construit.
- have a problem for the repayment and people who (enlever WHO) are rapidly in debt.
- their childs: pluriel irrégulier.
- and this can make the exact contrary of what the microcredit (pluriel) are made for, those action (pluriel)make fall the inda in debt
2) Here it is, the liberation of the (pas de THE)women,
- It providing: temps?,
- and act them: ?
- to become (article)independent society builders with potential challenges to the future generation.
- We cannot skip the women (marque du génitif)contribution to the socio-eco- nomic development of the nation.
- (to) Empower the women in social, political, economical and legal aspects became necessary
- to convert the ideal society into (article)self-sustainable society.
- But now this time to change the mentality: mal dit.
- In India, women empowerment is one of (article)very important issue (pluriel)and the microfinance helps to (enlever TO)women empowerment by permitted (géronfidf)
-what their wishes: mal construit).
-this involved (présent)the women's (pas de "'s")in a lot of thinks
, - more thinks like the(enlever THE) education, the health treatment, the microfinance make the women
- They liberate the women of (from) their husband (pluriel)and developped (présent)a sort of equality
- The microcredit help (faute de conjugaison) the India to do a big step in his (pas le bon possessif)development even if it's accompaigned (orthographe)with debt.
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