Correction/ texte

Correction/ texte
Message de zoyzoy posté le 27-04-2016 à 18:33:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
Je voudrais un peu d'aide pour la grammaire dans mon texte, je suis pas très sûr de ce que j'ai écrit mais bon c'est super à lire
Merci pour vos réponses.

In our minds, the progress is often related to technology and modernisation, because these research sectors have a direct influence on the globalized "consumer society", and then on our lives. (For example: the constant improvements made on the smartphones, which are directly sold to the public)
But for your typical consumer, the ecological impact of his new car is not a big deal, but it is for the people who experience the ecological consequences and for the atmosphere.
Yet, there are different ways to live and consume, more eco-friendly, and thanks to new technologies:
Even major brands try to start to decrease their ecological footprint:

Adidas with their shoes made from Ocean garbage, which will save ocean fauna, save primary materials, and in addition to that improve the image of the brand; or Tesla with their electric car Model S which develops a tremendous seven hundred and sixty-three (763) horsepower, without emitting a gram of CO2: this technological breakthrough shows us that we could still satisfy the vast majority of our needs and in the same time care about the environment.
Of course, the industrials would have to dramatically re-adapt their production means in order to satisfy future demand in eco-friendly products, but this really is worth it : in fact if we want to progress this time, we must do it respecting the environment.

Conclusion: Finally, the progress, which is a synonym of change, has to be made while listening to people who carry out ecologic experiments. To change then progress, we must set up a more caring society, and adapt our traditional polluting lifestyle in order to not exploit our planet further.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-04-2016 23:07

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Réponse: Correction/ texte de gerondif, postée le 27-04-2016 à 23:15:11 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

In our minds, the progress is often related to technology and modernisation, because these research sectors have a direct influence on the globalized "consumer society", and then on our lives. (For example: the constant improvements made on the smartphones, which are directly sold to the public)

But for your typical consumer, the ecological impact of his new car is not a big deal, but it is for the people who experience the ecological consequences and for the atmosphere.
Yet, there are different and more eco-friendly ways to live and consume thanks to new technologies:
Even major brands try to start to decrease their ecological footprint:

Adidas with their shoes made from Ocean garbage, which will save ocean fauna, save primary materials, and in addition to that improve the image of the brand; or Tesla with their electric Model S car which develops a tremendous seven hundred and sixty-three (763) horsepower, without emitting a single gram of CO2: this technological breakthrough shows us that we could still satisfy the vast majority of our needs and in the same time care about the environment.
Of course, the industrialists would have to dramatically re-adapt their production means in order to satisfy future demand in eco-friendly products, but this really is worth it : in fact if we want to progress this time, we must do it respecting the environment.

Conclusion: Finally, the progress, which is a synonym of for change, has to be made while listening to people who carry out ecologic experiments. To change and then progress, we must set up a more caring society, and adapt our traditional polluting lifestyle in order to no(inversez)t exploit our planet further.

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Réponse: Correction/ texte de zoyzoy, postée le 28-04-2016 à 14:26:18 (S | E)
Merci pour votre time

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