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Correction/rédaction Art

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/rédaction Art
Message de maevab75 posté le 20-03-2016 à 13:57:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
Voici une rédaction qui décrit une exposition artistique. Je me suis servie de wordreference pour la rédiger mais je pense qu'il y a pas mal de fautes de syntaxe encore.....
J'aurais besoin de votre aide car j'ai beau me relire je sèche :$.
Je vous remercie d'avance !

Since 4 years the city of Angers is  twinned with Austin, the capital of Texas. Both cities share their culture and created cultural events together.
On Tuesday, September 15th, 2015 at 6:30 pm, I assisted the private viewing of the exhibition of Austin Week in school of Fine Arts of Angers.
Within the Austin Week, Esba TALM Angers welcomed an exhibition presenting approximately 100 posters created for the festival Austin Psych Fest in Austin, Texas. The 9th annual LEVITATION (formerly Austin Psych Fest) will be held April 29-may 1 at Carson Creek Ranch in Austin,TX .
The private viewing was followed by two concerts of inauguration of Austin Week with «  Sy », a musical project from Angevin / Texan.

Hundred posters serigraphs, realized for the festival Levitation in Austin, are presented to Esba TALM Angers.
These Psychedelic posters are made with highly distorted visuals, cartoons, and bright colors.
 Their esthetics are inspired by psychedelic experiences and hallucinations with psychoactive drugs such as LSD. It looks like a surealism dream. Posters include Bright and highly contrasting colors, repetition of motifs, spirals, concentric circles and fantastic subjects. After the visit of the exhibition we attented the concert of inauguration by « Sy ». It was very great.
We had the oppotunity to eat american food. This buffet lunch was very good and surprising.
This collection of events has permit to the inhabitants of Anjou to get acquainted concretely with Austin the capital of Texas.
The poster of display of the festival represents several present serigraph posters in the exhibition.
In the foreground, we can see a green dragon with on his back the Grim Reaper.
On this first serigraph poster the moon is blue. Color blue and green dominate.
In the middle ground, we can see a second serigraph poster. It represents a big circle surrounded with four other small circles. The drawing style is blend with repetition of serpentine motifs.
In the background, we can see several serigaph posters with pastel colors.

Psychedelia Art interests me a lot because this movement and its creations base themselves thus especially on sound and visual effects. It inspires me in my drawing work.
Two domains particularly developed the psychedelic art: the creation of poster of concert and disc pockets. The style is made by messes and by sinuous curves which multiply in the infinity.
We find psychedelia in cinema as in the movie " L'odyssée de l'espace » or « Head » with The Monkeys.
Finally, The psychedelic culture is an artistic full movement which continues to evolve in the art, the music and the cinema.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2016 14:09


Réponse: Correction/rédaction Art de maevab75, postée le 21-03-2016 à 11:38:18 (S | E)
Personne pour m'aider? :- je suis un peu désespérée

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-03-2016 21:51



Réponse: Correction/rédaction Art de gerondif, postée le 21-03-2016 à 19:42:20 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert.

Since(mauvais choix de depuis + durée, since c'est avec une date, un point de départ, since 2011) 4 years the city of Angers is (present perfect avec depuis) twinned with Austin, the capital of Texas. Both cities share their culture and created cultural events together.
On Tuesday, September 15th, 2015 at 6:30 pm, I assisted(français traduit) the private viewing of the exhibition of Austin Week in at the school of Fine Arts of Angers.
Within the Austin Week, Esba TALM Angers welcomed an exhibition presenting approximately 100 posters created for the festival Austin Psych Fest festival in Austin, Texas. The 9th annual LEVITATION (formerly Austin Psych Fest) will be held from April 29 to May 1 at Carson Creek Ranch in Austin,TX .
The private viewing was followed by two concerts of inauguration (faire un nom composé) of Austin Week with « Sy », a musical project from Angevin / Texan.

One hundred posters, serigraphs, realized for the festival Levitation in Austin, are presented to(plutot at) Esba TALM Angers.
These Psychedelic posters are made with highly distorted visuals, cartoons, and bright colors.
Their esthetics are inspired by psychedelic experiences(experience n'a pas de pluriel, et experiment est une expérience scientifique, experience étant l'expérience que l'on acquiert en vieillissant) and hallucinations with psychoactive drugs such as LSD. It looks like a surealism dream. Posters include Bright and highly contrasting colors, repetition of motifs, spirals, concentric circles and fantastic subjects. After the visit of the exhibition we attented the concert of inauguration (nom composé) by « Sy ». It was very great.
We had the oppotunity to eat american food. This buffet lunch was very good and surprising.
This collection of events has permit to (français traduit, mauvais choix de verbe)the inhabitants of Anjou to get acquainted concretely with Austin, the capital of Texas.
The poster of display of the festival represents several present serigraph posters in the exhibition.
In the foreground, we can see a green dragon with on his back the Grim Reaper.
On this first serigraph poster the moon is blue. The colors blue and green dominate.
In the middle ground, we can see a second serigraph poster. It represents a big circle surrounded with four other small circles. The drawing style is blend with repetition of serpentine motifs(pluriel en ves).
In the background, we can see several serigaph posters with pastel colors.

Psychedelia Art interests me a lot because this movement and its creations base themselves thus especially on sound and visual effects. It inspires me in my drawing work.
Two domains particularly developed the psychedelic art: the creation of poster of concert(nom composé) and disc pockets(il me semble qu'on dit sleeves pour un disque). The style is made by messes (dans quel sens?) and by sinuous curves which multiply in the infinity.(mettez plutôt un adverbe)
We find psychedelia in cinema as in the movie " L'odyssée de l'espace » or « Head » with The Monkeys.
Finally, The psychedelic culture is an artistic full movement which continues to evolve in the art, the music and the cinema.
Même une fois corrigé, cela reste maladroit et un peu fouillis.




Réponse: Correction/rédaction Art de maevab75, postée le 26-03-2016 à 11:59:20 (S | E)
Merci infiniment! je vais prendre en note les erreurs pour mes prochaines rédactions




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