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Correction/Idealism

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Idealism
Message de aboudou974 posté le 19-02-2016 à 12:06:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde.
Je suis en classe de Terminale S. J'ai une Expression Ecrite à rendre.
Le sujet est : It is possible to combine idealism and professional career?
Voilà je vous demande s'il vous plait de corriger les fautes d'orthographe que j'ai faites.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.

For me, it's easy to combine idealism and professional career. Idealism it is something you like to do. It could be a hobby, a divertissement, a sport, a passion or a principe who you can practice in your professional career. A professional career is your professional history
Our problem is to know if is it possible to combine idealism with a professional career
Firstly, we are going to see that is possible to combine idealism and career and secondly, we will see that is not possible to combine idealism and career.
First of all, combine idealism and professional career is possible, because today, there are a lot of different work in the world. The only difficulty is to reach this job. To achieve this we have to work hard in the school. We can be a youtuber, a sports teacher.
Many people combine their idealism with their career because they love this. They transform their passion into a job. And this give a advantage about their profession, because one filmmaker with a good level is good, but one filmmaker with a good level and love his passion is a very good filmmaker.
After, combine idealism and professional career isn't possible. The professional career is just for having a money, for survive in the world. We can't combine idealism with professional career.
And Everybody doesn't have access of all works because they don't have a capacity, a level so they work just for have money.
Somebody are doing a job they don't like because their parents forced they child to do this job. It can be a doctor, lawyer..
In closing, we can say they are different people, somebody prefers to practice the works that are related to their passions or not.
I think that is possible to combine this, because we work every day. If we do something that we don't like, we will work less.
We can ask a question : Is it counselor to live his passions ?

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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-02-2016 23:57



Réponse: Correction/Idealism de darkness18, postée le 19-02-2016 à 14:56:53 (S | E)
Hello,
For me, it's easy to combine idealism and professional career. Idealism it (en trop) is something you like to do. It could be a hobby, a divertissement (voc), a sport, a passion or a principe (voc) who you can practice (reformulez) in your professional career. A professional career is your professional history
Our problem is to know if is it (Pourquoi une inversion) possible to combine idealism with a professional career
Firstly, we are going to see that X is possible to combine idealism and career and secondly, we will see that X is not possible to combine idealism and career
(La phrase fait un peu lourde, tu pourrais la réduire car là on peut croire que tu te contredis: "Premièrement, nous allons voir que c'est possible de combiner l'idéalisme et la carrière et dans une seconde partie nous verrons que ce n'est pas possible de combiner l'idéalisme et la carrière", de plus n'oublie pas de mettre le même temps dans les deux phrases.)


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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-02-2016 00:01




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