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Bac/spaces and exchanges
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Message de damuseau posté le 10-01-2016 à 15:27:26 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde,
serait-il possible de corriger mon oral d'anglais s'il vous plait? je préfère avoir une correction sûre que des traductions bancales sur internet donc aidez moi s'il vous plait ! (mon oral est dans 3 jours)... Dites-moi aussi ce que vous en pensez, faut-il que mes parties soient de tailles égales ? les contenus sont-ils bien?
Merci d'avance !
Oral anglais spaces and exchanges
I'm going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges. To begin with, I would like to give a definition of exchange. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. The exchanges can appear on many forms : people, trade, information. The immigration is linked to this notion as it implies the motion of legal and illegal people to others countries. We can wonder what are facing immigrants wanting to go to another country and what are the benefits for the State?
First, I will define the travelling conditions for immigrants who want come to USA . Secondl , I will explain on what terms Asian immigrated to the United Kingdoms. Finally ,I will explain what the benefits of immigration to a country.
From 1892 and 1952, the immigrants who arrived by boat in New York were send to Ellis Island to be checked up by medical inspectors to be sorted out, to make sure they did not carry a contagious disease. They also had to answer many questions about their situation like we saw in the text “Immigrant kid” . Those who failed these exams could be sent back to their native country. Nowadays the mexican immigrants face the Minutemen who are at the border. They are a group who draw a parellel between this immigration and terrorism. To him, shutting the border is a matter of national security.They say in the documentary “on patrol with Arizona's Minutemen” that they are taking the law into their own hands because their government is not taking any action to stop immigration. They represent a danger since they are armed. They are racist and ignorant.
Now we going to see how asians are immigrat in UK. That is ma second part.
The important precense of South Asians in the UK is the result of encouraged immigration after the 2nd word war, when england need labour force to rebuild the country. This immigration also result from the British colonies. After the abolition of the British raj, some people immigrat in UK for a better life.
But this immigration has benefits for the country that receives them. That is my last part.
Immigration represents a boost for economy, it creates' jobs and business activity rather than destroy them like we saw in the document “How Immigrants create more jobs”. Immigrants can also do jobs that Americans won't do. Moreover, immigration led to the exchange of cultural values.
To conclude, we can say that gradually the borders between countries disappear even if difficulties persist to immigrate. But immigration remains highly beneficial to countries. I think if everyone understood that, people would have a more positive outlook and it would be easier to immigrate to qualify for a better life ..
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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-01-2016 22:33
Message de damuseau posté le 10-01-2016 à 15:27:26 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde,
serait-il possible de corriger mon oral d'anglais s'il vous plait? je préfère avoir une correction sûre que des traductions bancales sur internet donc aidez moi s'il vous plait ! (mon oral est dans 3 jours)... Dites-moi aussi ce que vous en pensez, faut-il que mes parties soient de tailles égales ? les contenus sont-ils bien?
Merci d'avance !
Oral anglais spaces and exchanges
I'm going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges. To begin with, I would like to give a definition of exchange. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. The exchanges can appear on many forms : people, trade, information. The immigration is linked to this notion as it implies the motion of legal and illegal people to others countries. We can wonder what are facing immigrants wanting to go to another country and what are the benefits for the State?
First, I will define the travelling conditions for immigrants who want come to USA . Secondl , I will explain on what terms Asian immigrated to the United Kingdoms. Finally ,I will explain what the benefits of immigration to a country.
From 1892 and 1952, the immigrants who arrived by boat in New York were send to Ellis Island to be checked up by medical inspectors to be sorted out, to make sure they did not carry a contagious disease. They also had to answer many questions about their situation like we saw in the text “Immigrant kid” . Those who failed these exams could be sent back to their native country. Nowadays the mexican immigrants face the Minutemen who are at the border. They are a group who draw a parellel between this immigration and terrorism. To him, shutting the border is a matter of national security.They say in the documentary “on patrol with Arizona's Minutemen” that they are taking the law into their own hands because their government is not taking any action to stop immigration. They represent a danger since they are armed. They are racist and ignorant.
Now we going to see how asians are immigrat in UK. That is ma second part.
The important precense of South Asians in the UK is the result of encouraged immigration after the 2nd word war, when england need labour force to rebuild the country. This immigration also result from the British colonies. After the abolition of the British raj, some people immigrat in UK for a better life.
But this immigration has benefits for the country that receives them. That is my last part.
Immigration represents a boost for economy, it creates' jobs and business activity rather than destroy them like we saw in the document “How Immigrants create more jobs”. Immigrants can also do jobs that Americans won't do. Moreover, immigration led to the exchange of cultural values.
To conclude, we can say that gradually the borders between countries disappear even if difficulties persist to immigrate. But immigration remains highly beneficial to countries. I think if everyone understood that, people would have a more positive outlook and it would be easier to immigrate to qualify for a better life ..
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-01-2016 22:33
Réponse: Bac/spaces and exchanges de gerondif, postée le 12-01-2016 à 11:17:00 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
Oral anglais spaces and exchanges
I'm going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges. To begin with, I would like to give a definition of exchange. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. The exchanges can appear on many forms : people, trade, information. The immigration is linked to this notion as it implies the motion of legal and illegal people to others countries. We can wonder what are facing immigrants(pas d'inversion en style indirect) wanting to go to another country and what are the benefits(idem) for the State?
First, I will define the travelling conditions for immigrants who want to come to the USA (il y a une règle qui dit qu'on met THE devant les pays pluriels). Secondly , I will explain on what terms Asian(pluriel) immigrated to the United Kingdoms(pas de s). Finally ,I will explain what the benefits of immigration to a country (manque le verbe).
From 1892 and 1952, the immigrants who arrived by boat in New York were send to Ellis Island to be checked up by medical inspectors to be sorted out, to make sure they did not carry a contagious disease (à mettre au pluriel). They also had to answer many questions about their situation like we saw in the text “Immigrant kid” . Those who failed these exams could be sent back to their native country(au pluriel an anglais). Nowadays the mexican immigrants face the Minutemen who are at the border. They are a group who draw a parellel between this immigration and terrorism. To him(pour eux), shutting the border is a matter of national security.They say in the documentary “on patrol with Arizona's Minutemen” that they are taking the law into their own hands because their government is not taking any action to stop immigration. They represent a danger since they are armed. They are racist and ignorant.
Now we going to see how asians are immigrat in the UK. That is ma second part.
The important precense of South Asians in the UK is the result of encouraged immigration after the 2nd word war, when england needed labour force to rebuild the country. This immigration also result (un s au présent, sinon, prétérit) from the British colonies. After the abolition of the British raj, some people immigrat in the UK for a better life.
But this immigration has benefits for the country that receives them. That is my last part.
Immigration represents a boost for the economy, it creates' jobs and business activity rather than(il vaudrait mieux mettre instead of + ing) destroy them like we saw in the document “How Immigrants create more jobs”. Immigrants can also do jobs that Americans won't do. Moreover, immigration led to the exchange of cultural values.(vous mélangez présents et prétérits, il faudrait choisir)
To conclude, we can say that the borders between countries gradually disappear even if difficulties persist to immigrate (je mettrais persist en fin de phrase). But immigration remains highly beneficial to countries. I think if everyone understood that, people would have a more positive outlook (point of view serait peut-être moins ambigü) and it would be easier to immigrate to qualify for a better life .
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