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Correction/Designer baby
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Message de dragondd posté le 14-02-2015 à 15:09:10 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'ai besoin d'un coup de main s'il vous plait car je dois préparer un texte sur "designer baby"; c'est un dialogue dans lequel deux personnes confrontent chacune un point de vue différent.
Si vous pouviez corriger quelques erreurs lexicales, de grammaire, de structure xxx, merci d'avance
DD: Hello Miss Valot !
CV: Welcome Mr Smith. Did you read this article about stem cells?
DD: Yeah! It is worthwhile, Dr Brown deals very nice about PGD, he says that PGD is a new process in order to improve the human’s living conditions. With this technique, we can select the baby’s characteristics, for instance, I can decide that my future baby will be tall and red-eyed.
CV: Actually? It is not a natural technique, don’t you think? Parents shouldn’t choose the physical skills of their baby. They take freedom from their baby, the liberty to be naturally conceived, and do they have the right to make a baby like they want he to be ?
DD: I agree with you, this isn't a natural way and parents can make choices that the child won't appreciate, but you forget, that this technique allows us to prevent them from genetic diseases, and furthermore to cure people touched by such diseases with designer baby’s cord. It could be an alternative solution to infertility. And we can eradicate some defects like alcoholism, violence or obesity. If you were mother-to-be, will you take this risk for your baby?
CV: I can't take any risk if I have the possibility to screen for genetic diseases, and it is the only way that can cure such genetic diseases. But do you think that the children who will born in order to cure their older brother or sister will understand that they have been created only for this? They will ask a lot of question,they will be wondering why they were born and reject their parents.
DD: They can lie, saying that they wanted the baby, a short lie worth more than a dark truth and could satisfy everyone.
CV: But you know that a such process is not free, now, that can cost almost 18,000 $ , so that will lead a society divided in two parts: the poor will be the natural-conceived humans, and the upper society will be the designer humans. And the one born from naturally will be left behind because the society will consider designer persons as perfect humans. Welcome to Gattaca is a science fiction movie that illustrates the social fracture made from this science progress.
DD: We can promote laws that give the same rights to all parents-to-be. And what do you think about clones? Do you think that can lead to a such world?
CV: Yeah, because some people can't pay for clones and that will generate new problems: the amount of food to feed all the people won't be enough, and the clones , who will be humans, won't have the same rights as a “normal human”. They will live in order to be the medicine of their original master, that will be the sole purpose of their life.
DD: I think you're right, the movie The Island highlight that cloning humans is a real mistake for Humanity. Some scientists wants to recreate dinosaur with the fossilized DNA, but I expect that won't success since that could disrupt the biodiversity and eradicate some species, even Humans. So, a question appears: what is the humans and science role?
CV: I think that humans must endeavor to do their best to improve his living conditions, preserving environment, without trying to control nature.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-02-2015 17:42
Message de dragondd posté le 14-02-2015 à 15:09:10 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'ai besoin d'un coup de main s'il vous plait car je dois préparer un texte sur "designer baby"; c'est un dialogue dans lequel deux personnes confrontent chacune un point de vue différent.
Si vous pouviez corriger quelques erreurs lexicales, de grammaire, de structure xxx, merci d'avance
DD: Hello Miss Valot !
CV: Welcome Mr Smith. Did you read this article about stem cells?
DD: Yeah! It is worthwhile, Dr Brown deals very nice about PGD, he says that PGD is a new process in order to improve the human’s living conditions. With this technique, we can select the baby’s characteristics, for instance, I can decide that my future baby will be tall and red-eyed.
CV: Actually? It is not a natural technique, don’t you think? Parents shouldn’t choose the physical skills of their baby. They take freedom from their baby, the liberty to be naturally conceived, and do they have the right to make a baby like they want he to be ?
DD: I agree with you, this isn't a natural way and parents can make choices that the child won't appreciate, but you forget, that this technique allows us to prevent them from genetic diseases, and furthermore to cure people touched by such diseases with designer baby’s cord. It could be an alternative solution to infertility. And we can eradicate some defects like alcoholism, violence or obesity. If you were mother-to-be, will you take this risk for your baby?
CV: I can't take any risk if I have the possibility to screen for genetic diseases, and it is the only way that can cure such genetic diseases. But do you think that the children who will born in order to cure their older brother or sister will understand that they have been created only for this? They will ask a lot of question,they will be wondering why they were born and reject their parents.
DD: They can lie, saying that they wanted the baby, a short lie worth more than a dark truth and could satisfy everyone.
CV: But you know that a such process is not free, now, that can cost almost 18,000 $ , so that will lead a society divided in two parts: the poor will be the natural-conceived humans, and the upper society will be the designer humans. And the one born from naturally will be left behind because the society will consider designer persons as perfect humans. Welcome to Gattaca is a science fiction movie that illustrates the social fracture made from this science progress.
DD: We can promote laws that give the same rights to all parents-to-be. And what do you think about clones? Do you think that can lead to a such world?
CV: Yeah, because some people can't pay for clones and that will generate new problems: the amount of food to feed all the people won't be enough, and the clones , who will be humans, won't have the same rights as a “normal human”. They will live in order to be the medicine of their original master, that will be the sole purpose of their life.
DD: I think you're right, the movie The Island highlight that cloning humans is a real mistake for Humanity. Some scientists wants to recreate dinosaur with the fossilized DNA, but I expect that won't success since that could disrupt the biodiversity and eradicate some species, even Humans. So, a question appears: what is the humans and science role?
CV: I think that humans must endeavor to do their best to improve his living conditions, preserving environment, without trying to control nature.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-02-2015 17:42
Réponse: Correction/Designer baby de sherry48, postée le 17-02-2015 à 14:45:36 (S | E)
Hello. Here are a few quick corrections to begin with. First, I suggest avoiding long sentences with many commas.
DD: Hello Miss Valot !
CV: Welcome Mr Smith. Did you read this article about stem cells?
DD: Yeah! It is worthwhile, Dr Brown deals very nice about
PGD, he says that PGD is a new process CV: Actually? Really? It is not a natural technique, don’t you think?(With a negative tag question, you could use a prefix for natural and avoid the 'not') Parents shouldn’t choose the physical skills of their baby. They take freedom from their baby, the liberty to be naturally conceived, and do they have the right to make a baby like they want he
to be ?DD: I agree with you, this isn't a natural way and parents can make choices that the child won't appreciate, but you forget,(negative imperative would work well here) that this technique allows us to prevent
you take this risk for your baby?CV: I can't take any risk if I have the possibility to screen for genetic diseases, and it is the only way that can cure such genetic diseases. But do you think that the children who will __ born in order to cure their older brother or sister will understand that they have been created only for this? They will ask a lot of question__. They will be wondering why they were born and reject their parents.
DD: They can lie, saying that they wanted the baby, a short
lie worth more than a dark truth and could satisfy everyone. CV: But you know that a such process is not free, now, that can cost almost $18,000, so that will lead __ a society divided in two parts: the poor will be the naturally-conceived humans, and the upper society will be the designer humans. (And) the one born
DD: We can promote laws that give the same rights to all parents-to-be. And what do you think about clones? Do you think that (clones is plural) can lead to a such world?
CV: Yeah, because some people can't pay for clones and that will generate new problems: the amount of food _____ to feed all the people won't be enough, and
DD: I think you're right, the movie The Island highlight__ that cloning humans is a real mistake for Humanity. Some scientists wants to recreate dinosaur__ with
(verb) since that could disrupt CV: I think that humans must endeavor to do their best to improve his living conditions, preserving environment, without trying to control nature. (agreement)
Sherry
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