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Correction/ Hercule

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/ Hercule
Message de docmogrog posté le 31-10-2014 à 16:18:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai passé du temps à faire ce texte de présentation d'un héro. Je dois faire une présentation orale de 3 mn. Pouvez-vous me dire s'il y a des fautes, des phrases à changer etc...
Merci pour vos réponses.

Hello,
I will talk about the hero I chose for represent the notion myths and heroes. His name is Hercules. He is a Roman mythological hero and Heracles is its Greek equivalent.

This strong hero is the son of Zeus, the king of the gods, and Amphytrion, a mortal. That is the reason why he is a Demigod. He is famous for his strenght, his courage and for the twelve labors he performes to purify himself after he killed his wife and his children. For instance, he killed a Lion and a Hydra or even chained Cerberus, the three-headed dog guarding the underworld.

Hercules has always been considered as one of the most famous heroes for centuries and he is alway within the culture. During Antiquity and especially in Greece and Rome, the story of Hercules was represented in music, painting, printmaking, sculpture, pottery and more recently in movies, comics and even in Videogames. He has also an adjective to his name : herculean.

Hercule was my first hero. In fact, when I was about 3 years old, my grandmother taught me how to play videogames on the gale named “Hercules” based on the Disney cartoon of the same name. I often watched this cartoon. And little by little, Hercules began to be my model. I tried to be like him and I imaged myself having his lendary strength and killing many fiend.

Today, I still considered Hercules as a great Hero because he is a model of strength and courage but I think moral Heroes such as Nelson Mandela are more important.

Thus, this mythological hero persisted in culture and remains one of the most famous heroes. Although cultural change sources, the stories are recycled and allow everyone to know these ancient heroes.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2014 17:36


Réponse: Correction/ Hercule de tdu6300, postée le 01-11-2014 à 11:09:42 (S | E)
Bonjour docmogrog

Bleu = Erreur ou à revoir
Vert = Mes propositions
X ou XXX = Mot manquant ou ponctuation manquante
(Numéro) = Renvoi en pied de page

Hello,
I will(1) talk about the hero I chose for(2) represent the notion XXX myths and heroes. His name is Hercules. He is a Roman mythological hero and Heracles is its Greek equivalent.

This strong hero is the son of Zeus, the king of the gods, and Amphytrion, a mortal. That is the reason why he is a Demigod. He is famous for his strenght,(3) his courage and for the twelve labors he performes(4) to purify himself after he killed his wife and his children. For instance, he killed a Lion and a Hydra or even chained Cerberus, the three-headed dog guarding the underworld.

Hercules has always been considered as one of the most famous heroes for centuries and he is always(5) within the culture.(6) During Antiquity and especially in Greece and Rome, the story of Hercules was represented in music, painting, printmaking, sculpture, pottery and more recently in movies, comics and even in Videogames. He has also an adjective to his name(7) : herculean.

Hercule(8) was my first hero. In fact, when I was about 3 years old, my grandmother taught me how to play videogames on the gale(9) named “Hercules” based on the Disney cartoon of the same name. I often watched this cartoon. And little by little, Hercules began to be my model. I tried to be like him and I imaged(10) myself having his lendary(11) strength and killing many fiend(12).

Today, I still considered(13) Hercules as a great Hero because he is a model of strength and courage but I think moral Heroes such as Nelson Mandela are more important.

Thus, this mythological hero persisted in culture and remains one of the most famous heroes. Although cultural change sources(14), the stories are recycled and allow everyone to know these ancient heroes.

(1) Lien internet

(2) “for” n’est pas le bon mot.
(3) Orthographe
(4) Conjugaison (ou faute de frappe)
(5) Orthographe. Mais aussi, il existe un autre mot qui traduit cette idée de « toujours ». « always » ne s’emploie pas dans ce contexte.
(6) Il est possible que cette tournure soit correcte, mais elle me semble très « française »
(7) La aussi, je ne suis pas sur que cette tournure puisse être employée dans ce contexte. Un autre groupe nominal pourrait remplacer celui-ci.
(8) Orthographe
(9) « en coup de vent » ne se traduit pas comme ça. Utilisez des expression basées sur « rush » ou « en passant »
(10) Orthographe
(11) Orthographe
(12) Pluriel
(13) Conjugué au passé. Pourquoi ?
(14) Construction. L’ordre des mots n’est pas bon.

Bon devoir.
En espérant vous être utile.
Cordialement.



Réponse: Correction/ Hercule de docmogrog, postée le 01-11-2014 à 15:00:00 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, c'est super sympa d'avoir pris le temps de m'aider à me corriger, ça m'a beaucoup aidé.




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