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Message de ricchi posté le 16-03-2013 à 13:31:22 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody!
Please could someone check my writing? I have some doubts especially in tenses.
Thank you for your answers.
rgds, Regards.
Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing to inform you that I hired a car from your company the last month and I have had a minor accident with.
I regret to inform you that the car hired from your company,Hertz,New York city JFK Airport, at building 318,NY city,11430,NY the 6,February,2013 has been slightly damaged.
The accident occurred in Paris, at approximately 6:10 p.m on February 13, 2013. I had entered the Charles de Gaulle intersection which is controlle by lights. I had waited on a red light and when I turn green, I checked both ways and saw no vehicles approaching, and so I signaled my turn and move into the intersection to make my turn just after an incoming car would pass. I was waiting there for a few seconds, but I did not see the other vehicle approached the intersection. He must have been going fast, beyond the speed limit. Indeed I next checked both ways while waiting to make my turn. The vehicle was just about to enter the intersection from my left. Because he was approaching at a high rate of speed, he did not see that he had a red light and I do not think he even saw that I was stopped directly in his path until just after he entered the intersection. Fortunately nobody hurted and the car are not totally damaged but the right part of hood of my car was badly garbled.
After the accident, I photographed my car , the other driver’s car and the entire scene to give perspective of the event. After I reported accident to my insurance company and I began the reparation.
Do not hesitate to contact me again if you require any further information.
Yours sincerely,
P.S: Please find attached the photos of the accident
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-03-2013 13:37
Message de ricchi posté le 16-03-2013 à 13:31:22 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody!
Please could someone check my writing? I have some doubts especially in tenses.
Thank you for your answers.
Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing to inform you that I hired a car from your company the last month and I have had a minor accident with.
I regret to inform you that the car hired from your company,Hertz,New York city JFK Airport, at building 318,NY city,11430,NY the 6,February,2013 has been slightly damaged.
The accident occurred in Paris, at approximately 6:10 p.m on February 13, 2013. I had entered the Charles de Gaulle intersection which is controlle by lights. I had waited on a red light and when I turn green, I checked both ways and saw no vehicles approaching, and so I signaled my turn and move into the intersection to make my turn just after an incoming car would pass. I was waiting there for a few seconds, but I did not see the other vehicle approached the intersection. He must have been going fast, beyond the speed limit. Indeed I next checked both ways while waiting to make my turn. The vehicle was just about to enter the intersection from my left. Because he was approaching at a high rate of speed, he did not see that he had a red light and I do not think he even saw that I was stopped directly in his path until just after he entered the intersection. Fortunately nobody hurted and the car are not totally damaged but the right part of hood of my car was badly garbled.
After the accident, I photographed my car , the other driver’s car and the entire scene to give perspective of the event. After I reported accident to my insurance company and I began the reparation.
Do not hesitate to contact me again if you require any further information.
Yours sincerely,
P.S: Please find attached the photos of the accident
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-03-2013 13:37
Réponse: Aide/Essai de ricchi, postée le 16-03-2013 à 17:09:13 (S | E)
Anyone?? :/
Réponse: Aide/Essai de laure95, postée le 18-03-2013 à 14:25:14 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois reprendre:
Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing to inform you that I hired a car from your company
I regret to inform you that the car hired from your company,Hertz,New York city JFK Airport, at building 318,NY city,11430,NY the 6,February,2013 has been slightly damaged. (pourquoi ne pas faire 1 seule phrase? Tu éviteras ainsi les répétitions)
The accident occurred in Paris, at approximately 6:10 p.m on February 13, 2013. I had entered the Charles de Gaulle intersection which is controlle (conjugaison) by lights. I had waited (j'utiliserai plutôt le prétérit BE + -ING pour décrire les circonstances) on a red light and when I turn (problème de sujet + temps du verbe) green, I checked both ways and saw no vehicles approaching, and so I signaled my turn and move (temps) into the intersection to make my turn just after an incoming car would pass (temps). I was waiting (je mettrais le preterit simple) there for a few seconds, but I did not see the other vehicle approached (mettre le gérondif) the intersection. He must have been going fast, beyond the speed limit. Indeed I next checked both ways while waiting to make my turn. The vehicle was just about to enter the intersection from my left. Because he was approaching at a high rate of speed, he did not see that he had a red light and I do not think he even saw that I was stopped (forme du verbe)directly in his path until just after he entered the intersection. Fortunately nobody hurted (mettre la voix passive) and the car are (temps + conjugaison) not totally damaged but the right part of the hood of my car was badly garbled.
After the accident, I photographed (took photos of) my car , the other driver’s car and the entire scene to give perspective of the event. After I reported the accident to my insurance company and I began the reparation. (to have my car repaired)
Do not hesitate to contact me again if you require any further information.
Yours sincerely,
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