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Texte /correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Texte /correction
Message de schweppes posté le 12-03-2013 à 10:27:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,

Je dois passer un oral en anglais, traitant du sujet "places and forms of power". J'ai pour cela rédigé un texte en anglais, et j'aimerais savoir s'il est possible de m'aider à ne pas faire trop de fautes, mon niveau d'anglais n'étant pas très élevé,
Merci d'avance.

I have to introduce you the topic "Places and forms of power".
However I would rather talk about authority at school.
Actually times are changing and we could ask us if things change in the better way as possible. In order to answer, we can study different documents.
Firstly the text "God and the swimming trunks" written by Jonathan Coe in 2001. Then the cartoon "What's the meaning of these marks ?"

To start with the text, we can say that the seen takes place in a public school in England. King William's school is composed of a rugby field, a chapel and even an outdoor swimming pool.

The main character is called Benjamin, a 12 year-old boy ans a student of the PE teacher names Mr Warren.
This teacher has the reputation to be very strict and he shows us the power a teacher can have on students. Indeed, he is really severe and if a student forget his swimming trunks he have to swim in the nude.

That's an unfathomable humiliation and Benjamin , this day of spring, has forgotten his swimming suit. He can't support to be exposed to everyone's jibes. That's why he decides to pray in the locker room in order to make a kind of give-and-take with God and ask him a swimming trunks.

this situation can make us smile, but it shows how much teachers can scare students and above all young student so much so that they come to an unbelievable position.
In my opinion, teachers are charged to educate us and help us in our future life, and not to make us contain on ourselves or crouching on the floor as Benjamin.

Contrary to the text, the cartoon is showing an evolution in the parent's reactions when their child has very bad marks.
indeed, the cartoon is divided into two parts. The left part takes place in the 1960's ans the right part is set in 2011.
On the left we can see parents mad at the boy and the teacher looks proud and strict. Unlike, on the right, parents are mad at the teacher and the boy is satisfied with the situation.

That can show us that in 50 years roles at school have changed. Indeed, the situation is not the same anymore.

in my opinion, this cartoon is quite realistic. Indeed, nowadays teachers don't have so much power about students. But I guess that's not necessarily a good thing, since school have a figurative in our lives and teachers must have the control of the situation in classroom since or else they don't have any reason to continue to practice.

Nevertheless, as I see it, teacher don't have to abuse his authority as long as to bully students is not a good solution. Indeed, teachers can have authority without to be too much demand or nay oppressive.

In brief, it seems to me that teachers have to keep control about the situation but don't have to go too far with their authority. Besides, students have to respects teachers and their work without force them to be several.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-03-2013 11:20


Réponse: Texte /correction de lucile83, postée le 12-03-2013 à 11:23:52 (S | E)
Hello,

Avez-vous utilisé un traducteur en ligne?



Réponse: Texte /correction de schweppes, postée le 12-03-2013 à 11:25:42 (S | E)
Non je n'ai pas utilisé de traducteur, ma traduction est trop littérale ?



Réponse: Texte /correction de schweppes, postée le 12-03-2013 à 12:01:02 (S | E)
I have to introduce you the topic "Places and forms of power".
However I would rather talk about authority at school. Actually times are changing and we could ask us if things change in the better way as possible. In order to answer, we can study different documents. Firstly the text "God and the swimming trunks" written by Jonathan Coe in 2001. Then the cartoon "What's the meaning of these marks? »

To start with the text, we can say that the seen takes place in a public school in England. King William's school is composed of a rugby field, a chapel and even an outdoor swimming pool.
The main character is called Benjamin, a 12 year-old boy and a student of the PE teacher names Mr Warren. This teacher has the reputation to be very strict and he shows us the power a teacher can have on students. Indeed, he is really severe and if a student forget his swimming trunks he have to swim in the nude.
That's an unfathomable humiliation and Benjamin, this day of spring, has forgotten his swimming suit. He can't support to be exposed to everyone's jibes. That's why he decides to pray in the locker room in order to make a kind of give-and-take with God and ask him swimming trunks.
This situation can make us smile, but it shows how much teachers can scare students and above all young student so much so that they come to an unbelievable position. In my opinion, teachers are charged to educate us and help us in our future life, and not to make us contain on ourselves or crouching on the floor as Benjamin.
Contrary to the text, the cartoon is showing an evolution in the parent's reactions when their child has very bad marks. Indeed, the cartoon is divided into two parts. The left part takes place in the 1960's and the right part is set in 2011.
On the left we can see parents mad at the boy and the teacher looks proud and strict. Unlike, on the right, parents are mad at the teacher and the boy is satisfied with the situation. That can show us that in 50 years roles at school have changed. Indeed, the situation is not the same anymore.
In my opinion, this cartoon is quite realistic. Indeed, nowadays teachers don't have so much power about students. But I guess that's not necessarily a good thing, since school have a figurative in our lives and teachers must have the control of the situation in classroom since or else they don't have any reason to continue to practice.

Nevertheless, as I see it, teacher doesn’t have to abuse his authority as long as to bully students is not a good solution. Indeed, teachers can have authority without to be too much demand or nay oppressive.
In brief, it seems to me that teachers have to keep control about the situation but don't have to go too far with their authority. Besides, students have to respects teachers and their work without force them to be several.

voila déjà le texte avec quelques corrections.




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