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AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais
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Message de lillies posté le 06-11-2024 à 21:48:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis censé faire une rédaction d'anglais, le sujet étant "inventez une histoire d'horreur"
Pouvez vous me signaler mes fautes s'il vous plait ?
It’s the story of a seven-year-old girl who walked alone in the forest at night.
She saw a house in the distance, she was cold, she decided to go and knock on the door.
An old lady quickly opened the door for her. She found the little girl with her pale skin and red eyes, frightening.
The grandmother asked her if she was hungry or thirsty or if we should call her parents.
The little one did not answer and went to sit at the table.
The grandmother understood that she was hungry and brought him a glass of milk and biscuits.
It was very late and as the little girl did not speak, the grandmother offered to sleep at home and bring her back tomorrow.
The next morning, the little girl was gone. The dishes and bed were made. The grandmother was worried, she wondered where the little girl had gone. The same evening, the little girl comes knocking at the door and was the same as the first night, drank, ate and went to sleep in the room.
The grandmother locked the door of the girl and kept the key in her pocket to be sure that she could not leave. But the next morning, to the great surprise of the grandmother, the little girl had disappeared again and had made her bed and dishes.
The grandmother was starting to get scared. She wondered who this little girl was and how she had gotten out of her room. When she ran out of milk, the grandmother went to the store to buy some. She discovered a poster of a little girl who had been missing for two hundred years. She looked like the little girl who came to her house every night.
In the evening, the grandmother waited for the girl to come. When the girl arrived again at the same time, the grandmother asked her: "My child, are you dead? "
…
…
…
YES! LET ME IN!
MERCI D'AVANCE.
Message de lillies posté le 06-11-2024 à 21:48:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis censé faire une rédaction d'anglais, le sujet étant "inventez une histoire d'horreur"
Pouvez vous me signaler mes fautes s'il vous plait ?
It’s the story of a seven-year-old girl who walked alone in the forest at night.
She saw a house in the distance, she was cold, she decided to go and knock on the door.
An old lady quickly opened the door for her. She found the little girl with her pale skin and red eyes, frightening.
The grandmother asked her if she was hungry or thirsty or if we should call her parents.
The little one did not answer and went to sit at the table.
The grandmother understood that she was hungry and brought him a glass of milk and biscuits.
It was very late and as the little girl did not speak, the grandmother offered to sleep at home and bring her back tomorrow.
The next morning, the little girl was gone. The dishes and bed were made. The grandmother was worried, she wondered where the little girl had gone. The same evening, the little girl comes knocking at the door and was the same as the first night, drank, ate and went to sleep in the room.
The grandmother locked the door of the girl and kept the key in her pocket to be sure that she could not leave. But the next morning, to the great surprise of the grandmother, the little girl had disappeared again and had made her bed and dishes.
The grandmother was starting to get scared. She wondered who this little girl was and how she had gotten out of her room. When she ran out of milk, the grandmother went to the store to buy some. She discovered a poster of a little girl who had been missing for two hundred years. She looked like the little girl who came to her house every night.
In the evening, the grandmother waited for the girl to come. When the girl arrived again at the same time, the grandmother asked her: "My child, are you dead? "
…
…
…
YES! LET ME IN!
MERCI D'AVANCE.
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de gerondif, postée le 07-11-2024 à 16:30:53 (S | E)
Bonjour
Erreurs en bleu, suggestions en vert
It’s the story of a seven-year-old girl who walked alone in the forest at night.
She saw a house in the distance, she was cold, so she decided to go and knock on the door.
An old lady quickly opened the door for her. She found the little girlfrightening with her pale skin and red eyes.
The grandmother asked her if she was hungry or thirsty or if we (qui est ce "nous" ?) should call her parents.
The little one did not answer and went to sit at the table.
The grandmother understood that she was hungry and brought him( donc c'est un garçon maintenant ?) a glass of milk and biscuits.
It was very late and as the little girl did not speak, the grandmother offered to let her sleep at home and bring her back tomorrow.
(offered to put her up, proposa de la loger)
The next morning, the little girl was gone. The dishes and bed were made.(on dit to do the dishes pour faire la vaisselle, donc mettre made en commun pour les lits et la vaisselle ne va pas) The grandmother was worried, she wondered where the little girl had gone. The same evening, the little girl comes (à mettre au prétérit) knocking at the door and was the same as the first night, drank, ate and went to sleep in the room.
The grandmother locked the door of the girl and kept the key in her pocket to be sure that she could not leave. But the next morning, to the great surprise of the grandmother (to her great surprise supprimerait la répétition), the little girl had disappeared again and had made her bed and (on dit to do the dishes pour faire la vaisselle, donc mettre made en commun pour les lits et la vaisselle ne va pas)dishes.
The grandmother was starting (plutôt beginning ou même un prétérit simple began) to get scared. She wondered who this little girl was and how she had gotten (participe passé américain) out of her room. When she ran out of milk, the grandmother went to the store to buy some. She discovered a poster of a little girl who had been missing for two hundred years. She looked like the little girl who came to her house every night.
In the evening, the grandmother waited for the girl to come. When the girl arrived (came up) again at the same time, the grandmother asked her: "My child, are you dead? "
…
…
…
YES! LET ME IN!
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de lillies, postée le 08-11-2024 à 22:21:28 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup. C'est très gentil d'avoir pris le temps de me lire et de me corriger.
J'ai fait les modifications.
It’s the story of a seven-year-old girl who walked alone in the forest at night.
She saw a house in the distance, she was cold, so she decided to go and knock on the door.
An old lady quickly opened the door for her. She found the little girl frightening with her pale skin and red eyes.
The grandmother asked her if she was hungry or thirsty or if she should call her parents.
The little one did not answer and went to sit at the table.
The grandmother understood that she was hungry and brought her a glass of milk and biscuits.
It was very late and as the little girl did not speak, the grandmother offered to put her up and bring her back tomorrow.
The next morning, the little girl was gone. The dishes were put away and the bed was made. The grandmother was worried, she wondered where the little girl had gone. The same evening, the little girl came knocking at the door and was the same as the first night, drank, ate and went to sleep in the room.
The grandmother locked the door of the girl and kept the key in her pocket to be sure that she could not leave. But the next morning, to her great surprise, the little girl had disappeared again and the dishes were still put away and the bed made.
The grandmother began to get scared. She wondered who this little girl was and how was able to get out of her room.
When she ran out of milk, the grandmother went to the store to buy some. She discovered a poster of a little girl who had been missing for two hundred years. She looked like the little girl who came to her house every night.
In the evening, the grandmother waited for the girl to come. When the girl came up again at the same time, the grandmother asked her: "My child, are you dead? "
…
…
…
YES! LET ME IN!
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de lillies, postée le 08-11-2024 à 22:45:22 (S | E)
je souhaite également rajouter cette fin : pouvez vous me corriger s'il vous plait. Merci
...
...
YES! LET ME IN!
A few days later, the grandmother was found dead in her home. The medical examiner concluded it was a heart attack. They find on the table, a glass of milk and the first name Marie written with biscuit crumbs.
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de gerondif, postée le 09-11-2024 à 09:07:19 (S | E)
Bonjour
It’s ( This is) the story of a seven-year-old girl who walked alone in the forest at night.
She saw a house in the distance, she was cold, so she decided to go and knock on the door.
An old lady quickly opened the door for her. She found the little girl frightening with her pale skin and red eyes.
The grandmother asked her if she was hungry or thirsty or if she should call her parents.
The little one did not answer and went to sit at the table.
The grandmother understood that she was hungry and brought her a glass of milk and biscuits.
It was very late and as the little girl did not speak, the grandmother offered to put her up and bring her back tomorrow.
The next morning, the little girl was gone. The dishes were put away and the bed was made. The grandmother was worried, she wondered where the little girl had gone. The same evening, the little girl came knocking at the door and was the same as the first night, ( the previous night) drank, ate and went to sleep in the room.
The grandmother locked the door of the girl and kept the key in her pocket to be sure that she could not leave. But the next morning, to her great surprise, the little girl had disappeared again and the dishes were still ( still signifie encore au sens de continuellement alors que again signifie encore au sens de à nouveau. Once again conviendra ici) . put away and the bed made.
The grandmother began to get scared. She wondered who this little girl was and how (she had managed to get...) was able to get out of her room.
When she ran out of milk, the grandmother went to the store to buy some. She discovered a poster of a little girl who had been missing for two hundred years. She looked like the little girl who came to her house every night.
In the evening, the grandmother waited for the girl to come. When the girl came up again at the same time, the grandmother asked her: "My child, are you dead? "
…
…
…
YES! LET ME IN!
A few days later, the grandmother was found dead (in her house / at home) in her home. The medical examiner concluded it was a heart attack. They find ( à mettre au prétérit) on the table, a glass of milk and the first name Marie written with biscuit crumbs.
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de lillies, postée le 09-11-2024 à 12:26:51 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci pour votre correction.
je remets le texte corriger.
Si tout est ok, je vous remercie encore pour votre temps et je vous souhaite un bon week end.
This is the story of a seven-year-old girl who walked alone in the forest at night.
She saw a house in the distance, she was cold, so she decided to go and knock on the door.
An old lady quickly opened the door for her. She found the little girl frightening with her pale skin and red eyes.
The grandmother asked her if she was hungry or thirsty or if she should call her parents.
The little one did not answer and went to sit at the table.
The grandmother understood that she was hungry and brought her a glass of milk and biscuits.
It was very late and as the little girl did not speak, the grandmother offered to put her up and bring her back tomorrow.
The next morning, the little girl was gone. The dishes were put away and the bed was made. The grandmother was worried, she wondered where the little girl had gone. The same evening, the little girl came knocking at the door and was the same as the previous night, drank, ate and went to sleep in the room.
This time, the grandmother locked the door of the girl and kept the key in her pocket to be sure that she could not leave. But the next morning, to her great surprise, the little girl had disappeared again and the dishes were once again put away and the bed made.
The grandmother began to get scared. She wondered who this little girl was and how she had managed to get out of her room.
When she ran out of milk, the grandmother went to the store to buy some. She discovered a poster of a little girl who had been missing for two hundred years, called Marie. She looked like the little girl who came to her house every night.
The following evening, the grandmother waited for the girl to come. When the girl came up again at the same time, the grandmother asked her: "My child, are you dead? "
…
…
YES! LET ME IN!
A few days later, the grandmother was found dead at home. The medical examiner concluded it was a heart attack. They found on the table, a glass of milk and the first name Marie written with biscuit crumbs.
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de gerondif, postée le 09-11-2024 à 16:20:04 (S | E)
Bonjour
Diriez-vous :
je remets le texte corriger/ relire/ revoir ?
je remets le texte corrigé / relu / revu ?
Il vaudrait mieux déplacer le complément de lieu : On the table, they found...
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de lillies, postée le 09-11-2024 à 18:04:29 (S | E)
bonjour,
je remets le texte corrigé (oui c'est mieux) merci
Merci beaucoup.
Je vous souhaite un très bon week end
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de gerondif, postée le 10-11-2024 à 07:50:10 (S | E)
Bonjour
Un oubli. Tomorrow prend aujourd'hui comme référence. Il ne faut pas confondre demain et le lendemain.
It was very late and as the little girl did not speak, the grandmother offered to put her up and bring her back tomorrow. ( the next day / in the morning)
She discovered a poster. Je prendrais plutôt le verbe to come across.
trouver par hasard vtr (un peu familier) tomber sur vi + prép
I came across an interesting article in the newspaper today.
Je suis tombé sur un article intéressant dans le journal aujourd'hui
Réponse : AIDEZ MOI SVP Histoire d'horreur anglais de lillies, postée le 13-11-2024 à 21:29:02 (S | E)
Bonjour,
merci beaucoup pour vos explications. j'ai modifié à temps.
Je vous souhaite une bonne soirée
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