>
Aide/ Bac EO
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basAide/ Bac EO
Message de juja21 posté le 17-04-2019 à 22:13:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai mon oral d'anglais de Bac dans quelques semaines et j'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à corriger mon texte.
Je m'excuse d'avance pour les nombreuses fautes que j'ai sûrement commises.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
Today I will talk about Places and forms of power. The power can be defined as a right or an authority given or delegated to a person. In other words, people who have the power dominate society and impose rules. In India, power is mainly in the hands of men. Indeed, in Indian society, it is men who inherit land and work while women remain at home babysitting. We can therefore ask ourselves to what extend has the dowry tradition involve a country dominated by men ? First, we will see what the dowry tradition is all about. Then we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on human power in India.
On the one hand, we will explain what dowry is. Dowry is a very old tradition in India. It is a gift or a sum of money that the bride's family must pay to her future husband. Although this tradition is now prohibited by law, it is still very common in small rural towns in India. This dowry tradition leads to abuse of women as explained in the document entitled « Culture keys, the dowry tradition » . If the bride's family does not pay the dowry, the bride is tortured, her face is sometimes burned or she commits suicide for fear of the consequences. Sometimes, the woman is killed by setting her on the fire. This practice is called « bride burning » and has become an accident to avoid criminal charges and punishment. Thus, this tradition, in addition to being unfair to women, leads to violence and even murder of newlyweds. In addition, women do not have the right to choose their husbands and must submit to the decisions of their families.
On the other hand, we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on the Indian population. We have seen earlier that women must be subject to their husbands and have no freedom of choice. However, the dowry tradition also has another consequence: the gender selection. Indeed, as explained in the document « Another Girl » which tells the story of a young Indian girl Kavita, giving birth to a little girl to the great despair of her husband, it is preferable in India to have a boy child. Many women prefer to abort or kill their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy because they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the contrary, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document « India's girls go missing », 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude, even if India is today the world's largest democracy, there are many power inequalities, particularly between the sexes. The society is exclusively managed and dominated by men and women, submissive, have no power. There are also other inequalities in India, such as caste inequality. The Indian population is divided into 4 hereditary castes, which is very unfair and unequal.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2019 08:27
Message de juja21 posté le 17-04-2019 à 22:13:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai mon oral d'anglais de Bac dans quelques semaines et j'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à corriger mon texte.
Je m'excuse d'avance pour les nombreuses fautes que j'ai sûrement commises.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
Today I will talk about Places and forms of power. The power can be defined as a right or an authority given or delegated to a person. In other words, people who have the power dominate society and impose rules. In India, power is mainly in the hands of men. Indeed, in Indian society, it is men who inherit land and work while women remain at home babysitting. We can therefore ask ourselves to what extend has the dowry tradition involve a country dominated by men ? First, we will see what the dowry tradition is all about. Then we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on human power in India.
On the one hand, we will explain what dowry is. Dowry is a very old tradition in India. It is a gift or a sum of money that the bride's family must pay to her future husband. Although this tradition is now prohibited by law, it is still very common in small rural towns in India. This dowry tradition leads to abuse of women as explained in the document entitled « Culture keys, the dowry tradition » . If the bride's family does not pay the dowry, the bride is tortured, her face is sometimes burned or she commits suicide for fear of the consequences. Sometimes, the woman is killed by setting her on the fire. This practice is called « bride burning » and has become an accident to avoid criminal charges and punishment. Thus, this tradition, in addition to being unfair to women, leads to violence and even murder of newlyweds. In addition, women do not have the right to choose their husbands and must submit to the decisions of their families.
On the other hand, we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on the Indian population. We have seen earlier that women must be subject to their husbands and have no freedom of choice. However, the dowry tradition also has another consequence: the gender selection. Indeed, as explained in the document « Another Girl » which tells the story of a young Indian girl Kavita, giving birth to a little girl to the great despair of her husband, it is preferable in India to have a boy child. Many women prefer to abort or kill their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy because they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the contrary, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document « India's girls go missing », 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude, even if India is today the world's largest democracy, there are many power inequalities, particularly between the sexes. The society is exclusively managed and dominated by men and women, submissive, have no power. There are also other inequalities in India, such as caste inequality. The Indian population is divided into 4 hereditary castes, which is very unfair and unequal.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-04-2019 08:27
Réponse : Aide/ Bac EO de vaiana, postée le 18-04-2019 à 02:29:19 (S | E)
Hello!
you can start correcting your presentation with my probably incomplete correction, which will be proofread by another member once you've done so! Today I will talk about places and forms of power. The power can be defined as a right or an authority given or delegated to a person. In other words, people who have the power dominate society and impose rules. In India, power is mainly in the hands of men. Indeed, in Indian society, (it is) men (who) inherit land and work while women remain at home TO babysit(
On the one hand, we will explain what dowry (article) is. Dowry is a very old tradition in India. It is a gift or a sum of money that the bride's family must (
On the other hand, we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on the Indian population. We have seen earlier that women must be subject to their husbands and have no freedom of choice. However, the dowry tradition also has another consequence: the gender selection. Indeed, as explained in the document "Another Girl" which tells the story of a young Indian girl called Kavita, giving birth to a little girl to the great despair of her husband, it is preferable in India to have got a boy child. Many women prefer to abort (to prefer + ing) or kill (ing) their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy because (repetition...use "since") they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the other way around, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document "India's girls go missing", 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude, even if India is today the world's largest democracy, there are many power inequalities, particularly between the sexes. The society is exclusively managed and dominated by men and women, submissive, have no power. There are also other inequalities in India, such as caste inequality. The Indian population is divided into 4 hereditary castes, which is very unfair and unequal.
Réponse : Aide/ Bac EO de juja21, postée le 18-04-2019 à 10:29:26 (S | E)
Bonjour,
merci beaucoup de votre réponse!
Voilà ma correction:
Today I will talk about places and forms of power. The power can be defined as a right or an authority given or delegated to a person. In other words, people who have the power dominate society and impose rules. In India, power is mainly in the hands of men. Indeed, in Indian society, it is men who inherit land and work while women remain at home to look after the children. We can therefore ask ourselves: to what extend has the dowry tradition involved a country dominated by men ? First, we will see what the dowry tradition is all about. Then we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on human power in India.
On the one hand, we will explain what a dowry is. Dowry is a very old tradition in India. It is a gift or a sum of money that the bride's family must buy for her future husband. Although this tradition is now prohibited by law, it is still very common in small rural towns in India. This dowry tradition leads to some abuse of women as explained in the document entitled "Culture keys, the dowry tradition" . If the bride's family does not pay the dowry, the bride is tortured, her face is sometimes burned or she commits suicide for fear of the consequences. Sometimes, the woman is killed by being set on the fire. This practice is called "bride burning" and has become an accident to avoid criminal charges and punishment. Thus, this tradition, in addition to being unfair to women, leads to violence and even murders of newlyweds. In addition, women do not have the right to choose their husbands and must submit to the decisions of their families.
On the other hand, we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on the Indian population. We have seen earlier that women must be subject to their husbands and have no freedom of choice. However, the dowry tradition also has another consequence: the gender selection. Indeed, as explained in the document "Another Girl" which tells the story of a young Indian girl called Kavita, giving birth to a little girl to the great despair of her husband, it is preferable in India to have got a boy child. Many women prefer to aborting (to prefer + ing) or killing their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy since they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the other way around, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document "India's girls go missing", 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude, even if India is today the world's largest democracy, there are many power inequalities, particularly between the sexes. The society is exclusively managed and dominated by men and women, submissive, have no power. There are also other inequalities in India, such as caste inequality. The Indian population is divided into 4 hereditary castes, which is very unfair and unequal.
Bonne journée!
Réponse : Aide/ Bac EO de gerondif, postée le 18-04-2019 à 13:02:10 (S | E)
Bonjour
Today I will talk about places and forms of power. The(à ôter) power can be defined as a right or an authority given or delegated to a person. In other words, people who have the (à ôter) power dominate society and impose rules. In India, power is mainly in the hands of men. Indeed, in Indian society, it is men who inherit land and work while women remain at home to look after the children. We can therefore ask ourselves: to what extend has the dowry tradition involved(choix du verbe. j'aurais mis created ou brought about) a country dominated by men ? First, we will see what the dowry tradition is all about. Then we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on human power in India.
On the one hand, we will explain (pourquoi mettre cela au futur ? Let me explain...)what a dowry is. Dowry is a very old tradition in India. It is a gift or a sum of money that the bride's family must buy (plutôt give, on n'achète pas une somme d'argent)for her future husband. Although this tradition is now prohibited by law, it is still very common in small rural towns in India. This dowry tradition leads to some abuse of women as explained in the document entitled "Culture keys, the dowry tradition" . If the bride's family does not pay the dowry, the bride is tortured, her face is sometimes burned (burnt) or she commits suicide for fear of the consequences. Sometimes, the woman is killed by being set on the(à ôter) fire. This practice is called "bride burning" and has become an accident to avoid criminal charges and punishment. Thus, this tradition, in addition to being unfair to women, leads to violence and even murders of newlyweds. In addition, women do not have the right to choose their husbands and must submit to the decisions of their families.
On the other hand, we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on the Indian population. We have seen earlier that women must be subject to their husbands and have no freedom of choice. However, the dowry tradition also has another consequence: the gender selection. Indeed, as explained in the document "Another Girl" which tells the story of a young Indian girl called Kavita, giving birth to a little girl to the great despair of her husband, it is preferable in India to have got a boy child. Many women prefer to(à ôter) aborting (to prefer + ing) or killing their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy since they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the other way around, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document "India's girls go missing", 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude, even if India is today the world's largest democracy, there are many power inequalities, particularly between the (à ôter) sexes. The society is exclusively managed and dominated by men and(remplacez par whereas, alors que, tandis que) women, submissive, have no power. There are also other inequalities in India, such as caste inequality. The Indian population is divided into 4 hereditary castes, which is very unfair and unequal.
Je préférerais la structure to prefer to do something car mettre ing implique une habitude et non un choix précis dans un cas précis.
I prefer cycling to running, ok, vie habituelle
I prefer aborting to having my baby : habitude de vie ?,
They prefer to abort : choix précis lors de cette situation dramatique.
Réponse : Aide/ Bac EO de juja21, postée le 19-04-2019 à 09:55:35 (S | E)
Bonjour
Merci beaucoup de votre réponse! J'ai corrigé les fautes , n'hésitez à me dire s'il m'en reste!!
Today I will talk about places and forms of power. Power can be defined as a right or an authority given or delegated to a person. In other words, people who have power dominate society and impose rules. In India, power is mainly in the hands of men. Indeed, in Indian society, it is men who inherit land and work while women remain at home to look after the children. We can therefore ask ourselves: to what extend has the dowry tradition ou brought about a country dominated by men ? First, we will see what the dowry tradition is all about. Then we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on human power in India.
On the one hand, let me explain what a dowry is. Dowry is a very old tradition in India. It is a gift or a sum of money that the bride's family must give for her future husband. Although this tradition is now prohibited by law, it is still very common in small rural towns in India. This dowry tradition leads to some abuse of women as explained in the document entitled "Culture keys, the dowry tradition". If the bride's family does not pay the dowry, the bride is tortured, her face is sometimes burned (burnt) or she commits suicide for fear of the consequences. Sometimes, the woman is killed by being set on fire. This practice is called "bride burning" and has become an accident to avoid criminal charges and punishment. Thus, this tradition, in addition to being unfair to women, leads to violence and even murders of newlyweds. In addition, women do not have the right to choose their husbands and must submit to the decisions of their families.
On the other hand, we will talk about the consequences of this tradition on the Indian population. We have seen earlier that women must be subject to their husbands and have no freedom of choice. However, the dowry tradition also has another consequence: the gender selection. Indeed, as explained in the document "Another Girl" which tells the story of a young Indian girl called Kavita, giving birth to a little girl to the great despair of her husband, it is preferable in India to have got a boy child. Many women prefer to abort or kill their babies if they are girls because Indians prefer to have a boy since they are the ones who keep the family name, work and inherit the land. On the other hand, for Indians, girls do not bring anything, quite the other way around, because it is even necessary to pay their dowry to their husband's family. Thus, according to the document "India's girls go missing", 600,000 Indian girls go missing every year. This is likely to be a problem for the country in the coming years as it will no longer have enough girls to have babies.
To conclude, even if India is today the world's largest democracy, there are many power inequalities, particularly between sexes. Society is exclusively managed and dominated by men whereas women, submissive, have no power. There are also other inequalities in India, such as caste inequality. The Indian population is divided into 4 hereditary castes, which is very unfair and unequal.
Bonne journée!
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
