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Medical progress/Correction
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Message de thomas1906 posté le 23-10-2017 à 23:19:59 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Dans le cadre du bac, je dois présenter des synthèses de notion et voici l'une d'entre elles.
J'aimerais que l'un d'entre vous me montre mes erreurs afin de les comprendre et de les corriger. Je sais que cela va vous prendre un certain temps c'est pourquoi je remercie sincèrement celui/celle qui effectuera cette tâche.
Voici mon texte :
I’m going to talk about the notion« Idea of progress ». The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances give us sometimes a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrate well this notion, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
Thus, I would like to answer at this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine is maybe the solution
In a first phase, medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost, like we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the « medicine » the most common was cocaine. There was also several epidemics without cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we have need medical researchs. Like we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists must carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spread of a disease.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : when there is too much medical use can people's life be in danger ?
Firstly, like we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready for anything to save their children who sufferer from a hard disease for example from leukemia. Indeed they create artificially a child in order to cure the latter. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to tradition medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine with her bad side-effects
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal and we can die.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, i think we must be reasonable. Not take systemically antibiotics when we have a cold for example. However medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-10-2017 07:26
Message de thomas1906 posté le 23-10-2017 à 23:19:59 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Dans le cadre du bac, je dois présenter des synthèses de notion et voici l'une d'entre elles.
J'aimerais que l'un d'entre vous me montre mes erreurs afin de les comprendre et de les corriger. Je sais que cela va vous prendre un certain temps c'est pourquoi je remercie sincèrement celui/celle qui effectuera cette tâche.
Voici mon texte :
I’m going to talk about the notion« Idea of progress ». The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances give us sometimes a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrate well this notion, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
Thus, I would like to answer at this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine is maybe the solution
In a first phase, medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost, like we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the « medicine » the most common was cocaine. There was also several epidemics without cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we have need medical researchs. Like we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists must carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spread of a disease.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : when there is too much medical use can people's life be in danger ?
Firstly, like we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready for anything to save their children who sufferer from a hard disease for example from leukemia. Indeed they create artificially a child in order to cure the latter. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to tradition medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine with her bad side-effects
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal and we can die.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, i think we must be reasonable. Not take systemically antibiotics when we have a cold for example. However medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-10-2017 07:26
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de laure95, postée le 24-10-2017 à 14:30:53 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- to answer at (pas de at)this question
- like (pas le bon mot ici)we can read in the double page: in the double page of what?
- the « medicine » the most common: ordre des mots.
- There was also several epidemics (there was + singulier) without (il manque un mot)cure.
- we have need (need = avoir besoin de) medical researchs (orthographe).
- Like (pas le bon mot ici) we can see in the document
- when there is (mettre au pluriel) too much medical use (mettre au pluriel) can people's life be in danger ?
- Firstly, like (pas le bon mot ici) we can note in the document
- playing (il manque un mot)God.
- sufferer
from - Thus we may not always need modern medicine with her (pas le bon possessif) bad side-effects
- i: majuscule.
- think we must be reasonable. Not take (mettre au gérondif + à enchaîner, pas de point)
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de thomas1906, postée le 24-10-2017 à 17:14:26 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Tout merci beaucoup de votre correction. J'ai donc corrigé mes erreurs et voici mon texte :
Reste-t-il des erreurs ?
I’m going to talk about the notion« Idea of progress ». The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances give us sometimes a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrate well this notion, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
Thus, I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine is maybe the solution
In a first phase, medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost, as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical researches. As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists must carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spread of a disease.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : when there are too much medical uses can people's life be in danger ?
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready for anything to save their children who sufferer from a hard disease for example from leukemia. Indeed they create artificially a child in order to cure the latter. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to tradition medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal and we can die.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we must be reasonable, not taken systemically antibiotics when we have a cold for example. However medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de gerondif, postée le 27-10-2017 à 13:09:54 (S | E)
Bonjour
erreurs en bleu
I’m going to talk(causer fait un peu light pour un texte de bac, on parle au correcteur, on ne lui cause pas) about the notion« Idea of progress ». The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances give us sometimes a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrate(présent troisième personne !) well (devrait être placé derrière notion) this notion, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
Thus (signifie par conséquent, mais comme rien n'a encore été démontré...), I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine is maybe the solution
In a first phase, medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost, as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical researches (research reste souvent au singulier, sens collectif). As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists must carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spread of a disease.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : when there are too much medical uses can people's life be in danger ?
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready for anything to save their children who sufferer(confusion entre le verbe et le nom) from a hard disease for example from leukemia. Indeed they create artificially(à placer devant le verbe) a child in order to cure the latter. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to traditional medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal and we can die.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress. At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we must be reasonable, not taken(infinitif!) systemically(à mettre derrière antibiotics) antibiotics when we have a cold for example. However medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de thomas1906, postée le 27-10-2017 à 14:18:32 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je pense avoir corrigé mes dernières fautes, mais en reste-t-il ?
Merci d'avance de votre correction :
The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances give us sometimes a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrates this notion well, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine is maybe the solution
In a first phase, medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost, as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical research. As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists must carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spread of a disease.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : when there are too much medical uses can people's life be in danger ?
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready for anything to save their children who suffer from a hard disease for example from leukemia. Indeed they artificially create a child in order to cure the latter. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to traditional medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal and we can die.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we must be reasonable, not take antibiotics systemically when we have a cold for example. However medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de gerondif, postée le 27-10-2017 à 14:40:38 (S | E)
Bonjour
The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances give us sometimes(1) se place devant le verbe 2) note bien pessimiste; Imaginez un malade auquel un médecin dirait: Eh bien pour votre cancer, on va essayer tel traitement, parfois, il donne de bons résultats! Vous seriez rassuré ??) a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrates this notion well, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine is maybe (maladroit, soit on dit is a solution or not, soit on passe par can) the solution
In a first phase, medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost, as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical research. As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists must (have to irait bien aussi, obligation extérieure... avec must, on a l'impression que c'est vous qui donnez l'ordre) carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spreading of a disease.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : when there are too much (too much + singulier, too many + pluriel)medical uses can people's life be in danger ?
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready for(vous confondez I am ready for the operation et I am ready to do anything) anything to save their children who suffer from a hard(ça se dit ?) disease for example from leukemia. Indeed they artificially create a child in order to cure the latter(maladroit). But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to traditional medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal and we can die.(comme lethal signifie mortel, rajouter and we can die apparaît presque superflu ou comique)
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress. At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we must be reasonable, not take antibiotics systemically(il me semble que systémique fait référence aux tremblements de terre) when we have a cold for example. However medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de thomas1906, postée le 27-10-2017 à 15:41:08 (S | E)
J'ai corrigé mes erreurs. Cependant, je ne sais pas par quoi remplacer "Indeed they artificially create a child in order to cure the latter."
De plus, reste-t-il des erreurs ?
Merci d'avance de votre correction :
The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances often give us a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrates this notion well, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine can be the solution.
In a first phase, medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost, as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical research. As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists have to carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spreading of a disease.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : when there are too many medical uses can people's life be in danger ?
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready to do anything to save their children who suffer from a serious illness for example from leukemia. Indeed they artificially create a child in order to cure the latter. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to traditional medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we must be reasonable, not take antibiotics systematically when we have a cold for example. However medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de gerondif, postée le 27-10-2017 à 16:54:58 (S | E)
Bonjour
je ne sais pas par quoi remplacer "Indeed they artificially create a child in order to cure the latter." C'est the latter qui ne va pas, vous parlez du dernier mais on ne percoit pas bien the former par rapport à the latter, et puis c'est un enfant, pas un argument. On pourrait dire : They create a newborn child in order to cure the sick one.
The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances often give us a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrates this notion well, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine can be the solution.
In a first phase (cette phrase me laisse songeur, pourquoi dans une première phase , Il y aurait une seconde phase où ce serait le contraire , J'aurais dit quelque chose comme There is no denying that medical progress changed our lives (pluriel)...), medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost(pourquoi insister autant?), as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical research. As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists have to carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spreading of diseases.(pluriel plus général)
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : when there are too many medical uses can people's life be in danger ? (ce medical uses me parait maladroit, j'aurais été plus précis: When people resort to drugs and medecine too much, don't they put their lives in danger ?)
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready to do anything to save their children who suffer from a serious illness for example from leukemia. Indeed they artificially create a child in order to cure the latter. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to traditional medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress.(point) At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we must (should) be reasonable, not take antibiotics systematically when we have a cold for example. However,(virgule) medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de thomas1906, postée le 27-10-2017 à 19:19:07 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Tout d'abord concernant vos remarques :
- Personnellement, je ne voie pas ce qu'il y a de dérangeant dans " In a first phase ". En effet, cela permet de faire comprendre a mon examinateur que suis dans mon grand I,
- Je ne comprends pas pourquoi " First and foremost" est redondant, il se traduit bien par tout d'abord !
J'ai aussi corrigé mes erreurs et voici mon texte :
The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances often give us a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrates this notion well, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine can be the solution.
In a first phase, medical progress has changed our life for the best.
First and foremost, as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical research. As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists have to carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spreading of diseases.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : When people resort to drugs and medecine too much, don't they put their lives in danger ?
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready to do anything to save their children who suffer from a serious illness for example from leukemia. Indeed they create a newborn child in order to cure the sick one. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the good solution ? Maybe a return to traditional medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we should be reasonable, not take antibiotics systematically when we have a cold for example. However, medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de gerondif, postée le 28-10-2017 à 01:35:52 (S | E)
Bonsoir
le dictionnaire en ligne donne:
first and foremost adv (primarily) avant toute chose loc adv
First and foremost, let's review the minutes from last week's meeting.
ⓘ Avant toute chose, je tiens à préciser que l'apéritif ne sera servi qu'à la fin du discours de Monsieur l'Ambassadeur.
tout d'abord, en premier lieu loc adv
first and foremost adv (above all else) surtout adv
Je trouvais donc l'expression trop forte à cause de la connotation "surtout" mais vous faites bien comme vous voulez.
Si vous prenez in a first phase comme signifiant grand I, il faudrait un verbe vous mettant dans la phrase comme acteur;
In a first phase, I would like to emphasize that medecine has changed our lives for the best.
Peut-être the right solution à la place de the good solution qui sonne français.
medicine ne se met pas au pluriel.
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de thomas1906, postée le 29-10-2017 à 19:09:26 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Après vos remarques j'ai donc changé le " first and foremost" en " first".
Reste-t-il des erreurs de grammaire ou des tournures maladroites dans mon texte ?
Merci d'avance de vos remarques ...
The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances often give us a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrates this notion well, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine can be the solution.
In a first phase, I would like to emphasize that medicine has changed our lives for the best.
First, as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical research. As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists have to carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spreading of diseases.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : When people resort to drugs and medecine too much, don't they put their lives in danger ?
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready to do anything to save their children who suffer from a serious illness for example from leukemia. Indeed they create a newborn child in order to cure the sick one. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the right solution ? Maybe a return to traditional medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines. Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal.
To conclude, even today in our Western world we need medical progress At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we should be reasonable, not take antibiotics systematically when we have a cold for example. However, medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
Réponse : Medical progress/Correction de gerondif, postée le 30-10-2017 à 18:34:15 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Non, il n'y a plus grand chose à corriger .
The notion I'm going to deal with is the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as a development or an advance in technology, science or social organisation. These advances often give us a better quality of life.
Medical progress illustrates this notion well, and the pros and cons of scientific progress.
I would like to answer this question : Is medical progress always a good thing ?
First, I will show that medical progress is necessary for our health. Then, I will explain why we must be careful with medical advances . And finally we will see if going back to natural medicine can be the solution.
In a first phase, I would like to emphasize that medicine has changed our lives for the best.
First, as we can read in the double page, in the past there was a lack of medicine. Indeed, the solutions to deal with pain were limited, the most common « medicine » was cocaine. There were also several epidemics without a cure.
In addition, the evolution of treatments has relieved our pain. We can realize that medicine keeps evolving, with the discovery of new drugs, especially the discovery of painkillers like penicillin.
However, even today we need medical research. As we can see in the document "preventing communication", scientists have to carry out experiments to find new medicines in order to cure patients, and to avoid the spreading of diseases.
So medical progress is still necessary today because there are always new diseases. But we can ask another question : When people resort to drugs and medecine too much, don't they put their lives in danger ?
Firstly, as we can note in the document " the stem cell controversy", stem cells can be the solution to get rid of diseases, for instance Alzheimer's disease. In fact, stem cells can be regarded (considered) as " the first aid-box" of the future. Nevertheless, it means playing with nature or even playing with God. Thus the question of stem cells raises ethical questions.
Moreover, some parents are ready to do anything to save their children who (when they) suffer from a serious illness for example from leukemia. Indeed they create a newborn child in order to cure the sick one. But designer babies are always in hospital to give an organ like a kidney or bone marrow. So the extract of my Sister's Keeper shows the problem of medical progress with the issue of stem cells and the dangers of genetic manipulation.
When progress is not controlled, it leaves the door open to all kinds of hazardous excesses. So what is the right solution ? Maybe a return to traditional medicine.
First of all, some herbs can treat sore throats and joint pain. For instance, if we feel nauseous, we can take ginger. . These solutions are traditional medicines(medicine ne se met pas au pluriel). Thus we may not always need modern medicine.
Finally, we must be careful. Like classical treatments, natural treatments can be dangerous. Plants can be poisonous as well as lethal.
To conclude, even today in our Western world,(virgule) we need medical progress.(point) At the same time we must not forget the importance of traditional medicine, though it can also be dangerous. We must always keep in mind the pros and cons of medical progress too.
Personally, I think we should be reasonable, not take antibiotics systematically when we have a cold for example. However, medical progress is necessary and very important. Herbs are not a miracle cure !
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